| 1 |   | 24.20% | I am One in a Million, and There Are Six Thousand People in the World Exactly Like Me: Awarded for racking up over 999,999.999 points total. | achievement_points | 
                
                    | 2 |   | 14.40% | One Fewer Than a Lewd Innuendo Because We Are Totally Past That Phase: Get exactly 68 kisses in one level. Not 67, unless you then get the 68th. 70 is right out. | achievement_68kisses | 
                
                    | 3 |   | 11.40% | I Have Jumped Beyond the Powers of Two, and Have Lived to Tell the Tale: Awarded for completing your 128th jump. | achievement_128 | 
                
                    | 4 |   | 8.80% | I Have Come to The Point in My Life Where I Appreciate Christmas Mall Music: (Note: this is a hidden achievement that has not been released to the public yet) | achievement_winter_2011 | 
                
                    | 5 |   | 6.90% | I Have Broken More Glass Than a Finely Corpulent Opera Singer, and Love Myself For It: Awarded for breaking 1,000 scoring plates. | achievement_plates | 
                
                    | 6 |   | 6.60% | I am at Risk of Contracting Mononucleosis, Which is Known Colloquially as the Kissing Disease: This achievement is an award which is awarded for achieving 10,000 kisses total. | achievement_kisses | 
                
                    | 7 |   | 4.00% | OooooOOoooOOOooOOOOoOOOOO!!! -- O Ooooooooo Ooooooooo ooo Ooooooo: Geez. So, like, you're parachuting, and your velocity has decreased to the point where you're probably not going to die, right? So, what do you do? Have a sandwich? What if you held the O key down long enough? You could get this achievement. Or, you could say, "Oh, I don't want to do that." That is also okay. Also, Ichiro says that if you e-mail Owlchemy Labs customer support with the phrase "Alex is nude," it'd be a good way to mess with them. Pretty lousy thing for us to say, given that Owlchemy spent a lot of time working on this game, right? That's life. It's real. It's raw! | achievement_keyendurance | 
                
                    | 8 |   | 3.90% | I Have Completed Every Single of the New Levels and Can Honestly Say That I am Awesome: Complete the 43 new levels in Awesome. You know, the lower levels? When you click on the down arrow from the level selection screen. Those levels. | achievement_allawesome | 
                
                    | 9 |   | 1.90% | I Avoid Sleep Wherever Possible, So I Played AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! a Whole Lot: Awarded for completing 4,096 jumps. | achievement_4096 | 
                
                    | 10 |   | 1.80% | The Rhylos and Skaery Memorial Achievement, for Which We Will Honor Them: All fives. All five stars. On all levels. 81 levels. Yeah. | achievement_fives |